Wouldn't It Be Nice To Retire Like A Pro Surfer

December 2, 2008, 11:09 AM
By: Jake Howard

Cory Lopez, cutting into his retirement plan.

This might be the world's most boring intro, but here goes. Last night I had to go and meet with my accountant. It was regarding some retirement stuff he's helping me with, which I don't much understand, which is exactly why I go to him. During our talk I don't know how many times I just glazed over in the midst of him reciting percentages and tax code. I'd just come in from a fitful afternoon surf, the waves had been fun, although it was one of those sessions where you just know somewhere else is was better. Then on the trail back to my car, besides wondering why so many people feel the need to draw massive penises with their surf wax, I got to thinking about how much different my retirement plan looks compared to that of a pro surfer.

Take Cory Lopez for a prime example (I could have used Shane Dorian, but that's soooo cliché): Not more than a couple years off the tour, Cory's in his mid 30s and has once again transplanted from Florida to California (more than anything so he can be closer to LAX). As you can see by this recent clip of him from Africa, Cory is on more of a dream tour now than he was when he was actually on the Dream Tour.

"He spends so much time chasing waves because what else is he going to do," confessed Andy Irons in a recent conversation. "He hates not being on tour, but it doesn't sound too bad to me."

Then there's a schlep like me. I reckon I'll be grinding away until one foot's properly in the grave, by which time it'll be way too late for me to go find the perfect wave or revel in the ride of a lifetime. Sitting there with my accountant, while he was rattling on about compound interest I found myself thinking about my impending trip to Hawaii, and how all the surfers—even the retired ones—are over there "working". The kids all go out at Off The Wall to flare for the camera, while Pipeline's like the new Leasure World. Everybody from Cory to Rob Machado to Mark Occhilupo.

I guess if you can retire in your 30s it's not a bad way to go. I mean really, why wouldn't you? Granted, when it comes to risking my life for a huge barrel I'm not nearly as eager as Cory or Rob or Occ, which I guess is part of the reason I'm going to be slaving away until the day I die, but the other part is I don't really know what I'd do with all the extra time. It's like Occy said when he walked off the beach at Pipe last year: "That's it? It's over? Can I do it again?"

Then again, come to think of it, maybe instead of spending an evening with the accountant I would have driven up the coast and surfed the proper spot like any self-respecting, retired pro surfer would have.